Start:
Bronco Mexican Restaurant
1560 Union St
Spartanburg, SC 29302
Time:
6 pm (arrive by 5:45, ready to roll at 6 pm)
// The Ride Starts on Time. No exceptions.
The upside of always leaving on time is considerable. Others will be late exactly once. You signal that the sanctity of this ride, like all rides, is not something with which you should muck. You demonstrate, not with words but with actions, your commitment. As a bonus, you make more time for post-ride espresso. “On Time”, of course, is taken to mean at V past the hour or half hour.
Route:
2-Zone short route, 28 mis
Zones:
Zone 1 - Whitestone Rd outbound
Zone 2 - Hwy 9 inbound
TAIL LIGHTS REQUIRED, LIGHTS SUGGESTED
The Rules
[While there are nuggets of Truth in The Rules, they are offered here as entertainment because, really, I think they are funny.]
[While there are nuggets of Truth in The Rules, they are offered here as entertainment because, really, I think they are funny.]
// Lead by example.
It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist another person to breach them.1
// Introduce Yourself.
If you deem it appropriate to join a group of riders who are not part of an open group ride and who are not your mates, it is customary and courteous to announce your presence. Introduce yourself and ask if you may join the group. If you have been passed by a group, wait for an invitation, introduce yourself, or let them go. The silent joiner is viewed as ill-mannered and Anti-V. Conversely, the joiner who can’t shut their cakehole is no better and should be dropped from the group at first opportunity.
// Don’t Play Leap Frog.
Train Properly: if you get passed by someone, it is nothing personal, just accept that on the day/effort/ride they were stronger than you. If you can’t deal, work harder. But don’t go playing leap frog to get in front only to be taken over again (multiple times) because you can’t keep up the pace. Especially don’t do this just because the person overtaking you is a woman. Seriously. Get over it.
// Quick-release levers are to be carefully positioned.
Quick release angle on the front skewer shall be an upward angle which tightens just aft of the fork and the rear quick release shall tighten at an angle that bisects angle between the seat and chain stays. It is acceptable, however, to have the rear quick release tighten upward, just aft of the seat stay, when the construction of the frame or its dropouts will not allow the preferred positioning. For Time Trial bikes only, quick releases may be in the horizontal position facing towards the rear of the bike. This is for maximum aero effect.9
// Don’t be a jackass.
But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road.
// Hold your line.
Ride predictably, and don’t make sudden movements. And, under no circumstances, are you to deviate from your line.
// You shall not ride with earphones.
Cycling is about getting outside and into the elements and you don’t need to be listening to Queen or Slayer in order to experience that. Immerse yourself in the rhythm and pain, not in whatever 80’s hair band you call “music”. See Rule #5 and ride your bike.8
// Legs speak louder than words.
Unless you routinely demonstrate your riding superiority and the smoothness of your Stroke, refrain from discussing your power meter, heartrate, or any other riding data. Also see Rule #74.
// Be self-sufficient.
Unless you are followed by a team car, you will repair your own punctures. You will do so expediently, employing your own skills, using your own equipment, and without complaining that your expensive tyres are too tight for your puny thumbs to fit over your expensive rim. The fate of a rider who has failed to equip himself pursuant to Rule #31, or who knows not how to use said equipment, shall be determined at the discretion of any accompanying or approaching rider in accordance with Rule #84.1
// Don’t half-wheel.
Never half-wheel your riding partners; it’s terrible form – it is always the other guy who sets the pace. Unless, of course, you are on the rivet, in which case it’s an excellent intimidation technique.22
Rule #88
// Don’t surge.
When rolling onto the front to take your turn in the wind, see Rule #67, do not suddenly lift the pace unless trying to establish a break. The key to maintaining a high average speed is to work with your companions and allow no gaps to form in the line. It is permissible to lift the pace gradually and if this results in people being dropped then they have been ridden off your wheel and are of no use to the bunch anyway. If you are behind someone who jumps on the pedals when they hit the front do not reprimand the offender with cries of ‘Don’t Surge’ unless the offender is a Frenchman named Serge.
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